Introducing: Peer-led Support Calls

Starting NEXT week!

When my mom had cancer and I was her caregiver, I didn’t know other caregivers I could talk to about caregiving. Of course, I had family, friends, and the resources provided by the cancer center, palliative, and hospice. However, I always felt uncomfortable. I felt like I wasn’t being seen. I felt like I was being judged by my actions and for my situation—even though I probably wasn’t. I felt like I was being pitied.

So, I decided to create my own peer-led support group among friends who were in similar, though different, situations. We were all millennial caregivers for our aging parents with illnesses and ailments. I first had one-on-ones with my friends and then broached the topic and gradually, there would be two or three of us on a call. Eventually, we hit our stride with four of us on the call.

While the caregiver calls faded due to scheduling conflicts and other reasons, I remain friends with each of them to this day. I consider those calls to have been one of the most important times of my life while caregiving. When I felt bad about relaying the information about the darkest days of caregiving to my friends who weren’t caregivers, the friends who were caregivers understood. They got it.

Not quite like this because caregiving responsibilities were during COVID-19. Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash

It’s been almost two years since Mom died.

Two.

Years.

I’ve been thinking about how to give back and how to help other caregivers in my situation and similar to my situation and in completely different situations, too. After attending a few of these caregiver support calls hosted by social workers and therapists, I’ve realized I’ve always felt uncomfortable. Through no fault of any of the support groups, I found that I felt always analyzed, like being under a bright light and inspected under a microscope.

I craved the space with my friends, with people I knew and trusted. I’ve been mulling the idea over a peer-led support group for millennial caregivers for a long time. That’s why I think it’s finally time to start with my community here.

If you’d like to join in the inaugural Zoom call on Tuesday, May 28th at 6 pm UK, the Zoom link will be sent out on Tuesday. To clarify: this is not therapy. This is not a replacement for therapy. Instead, this is a place to talk about caregiving with people you will (hopefully? maybe?) get to know and share your stories with. Not just people on a Zoom call, but a supportive community.

I have big ideas for this. The time is now (and Tuesday). Hope everyone is having a good week. See you soon!

Madeline Wahl is a recent graduate with an MLitt in Fantasy Literature from the University of Glasgow in Scotland. She is a writer, solo traveler, and millennial caregiver to her mom, who recently passed from terminal cancer. Her writing has appeared on Reader's Digest, HuffPost, Red Magazine, and McSweeney's, among others. She is working on her first novel in YA Fantasy and her first nonfiction book proposal on millennial caregiving.